most of you don't know that forever ago..

i was on this kick that im going to find ME.

through all the drama and bullshit i have went through throughout the years and me getting older.. i lost who i was .. which makes me really sad bc if you think about it.. how the fuck can you NOT know who you are.

right?

well i was getting there and my progress was awesome.. but then i fell down and just didn't stand up again...


i put my kids before everything and i work and take care of them so much that i don't have time to do the things i love and relax and be me, i just started taking new pics lately, which i haven't done in forever.. and it has been at least a year or more since i have wrote..anything..even a poem.

my two passions and been but on hold for life... which sucks. life sucks!

so now its time for me to declare who i am again.

this will be hard.
this will be full of emotions.
this will be confusing.
this will be DONE.

its something i have to do to make myself happy with me.

so it has been forever since ive ever been on here, let alone posted some of my work up

then again it has been a while since ive even taken good quality shots of anything to put up here

with having my son and going through the normal dramas of everyday life plus some, my world is always crazy

its been over a year since ive wrote a journal period so i will up date you all

my son Caden Zeppelin will be 1 year old on June 6, which is pretty much 2 weeks away.

i cant wait! i am so freakin excited.

ill be posting pics of up him soon, i have some of him when he was newborn that are really good, plus jessi who i loves so much ..everytime she comes over she has her trusty cam with her and takes pics of the kids like they are going to evaporate right in front of her, LOL

as far as the party goes, we want to do toy story but could only find BUZZ lightyear on everything, so we have been buying things seperatly and special ordering things... so far our tablecloth is fucked up, our banners we bought are fucked up... thank god the cake topper we got is just freakin perfect.

i feel as thought that day is going to be pure hell when it gets here, i want everything to be good.. doesnt have to be perfect, just good, and already im doubting everything.

anyway asides from that sara starts 4k this year, so her butt will be going to school in aug, which is mad crazy to me, i know she has to go to school but ive always had her by my side..period.. and now shes going to be GONE, somewhere else, without me

eh..well i guess that is enough of my update, laterz

so i think im going to go on a walk tomorrow while sara is sleeping so i can get random shots, i need more ideas so i can post more...

BLAH, its like a camera block or something?

btw..

i miss my appt the 13th, so now i dont find out what im having till the 28th, yay, go dad who overslept!, BAH

ok well i officially have my internet back, so im excited about that, im gettin back into taking my pics and everthing, but i do need psp, which means i have to wait for ava to get her net back so she can send it to me, or something


but give me a few weeks and i will be submitting pics like i use to


btw, im pregnant.. due june 11th find out on the 13th what im having so yeah...


i missed my pics!<3

well, things have been still busy

workin my ass off

spending as much time with sara as i can

hopefully me and Jade are going to the beach, if her mom doesnt change her mind

cant wait to take sara there, she loves the beach

and then hopefully, if i have a ride, im going to warp tour!, woot!

heck yes!


and also, last night was rather interesting, wont get into any details...

just beer and cameras together are fun

i had a short photo shoot with Echo last night, pictures will hopefully be up soon.... very soon, maybe like.. i need to load them now or something...

but im going to run, im going to start takin my camera everywhere again, bc i enjoyed the photo shoot, i missed my camera, and not being able to take pics and shit.... laytur!